Khairulorama. Life and Work Notes.

Pain is the predecessor of success.

The Girl III

with 3 comments

So tonite, I really want to take care of things. I'm just tired. Emotionally I'm drained and cold. I needed something to hold on. But I never did could find what it is? 

What if things were never meant to be? I know reasons does not justify actions. It will never will. It will never will.

A solitary soul understands loneliness, misery and injustice.. and to my utter surprise, a solitary soul also understands the enlightment and blissful nature of his being. Deep hey! 

I know what I want in mylife. 

and I have nothing, and I'm not afraid of losing anything.

and, I wonder how do people keep on going even though they've lost something so dearly to them. I wonder, how they keep on going? Interestingly enough, I am one of those whom, cant take any rejections and usually I would be so frustrating that I keep on putting the blame to myself.

It's even harder when you lost something that it belongs to you. A part of you. Not necessarily, somatically your physical being, but the inner you. Your emotional and spritual being.

Losing is inevitable. Everything that begins usually ends. Somehow or rather, it's how you keep on going. It's how you face the truth that will make you see the very best of yourself. How you draw conclusive ideas and keep on going..

It's like running and running and not ever wanting to look back. It's like everytime you look back, you lost that part where you first start runnning. It's like running and seeing everything in its own course of history. Along that road, there's always something. But you keep on running.

I've lost a lot this week.

my love, my friend and my memories.

But, I know I'll keep on running.

Not that I like it.

Sometimes things are not supposed to be the way they are. And it's unfair. Yeah, unfair. But that's life, the imperfections perfect the perfections. The imperfects fitted the perfections. Complimenting and unfying into one. Difficult kan?

-Dreaming a dreamers dream.


Written by M Khairul Z

June 14, 2006 at 9:26 pm

3 Responses

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  1. web sorry for all the things going on in your life.sorry for the bad things of course.i know i am not a close friend of yours,and i am not sure how you define ‘a close friend’ anyway.well back to the points that i want to share with you.from my personal view,each and everyone of us has a course already laid out in front of us.of course,we can’t really see it, but we know that we have to keep going on no matter what.we do not take our own sweet time in everything as this current life we’re in is rather…short.. We keep going on, berbekalkan our iman,ilmu and belief that there’s no harm in moving on.To stay put too long at certain stages/situations on life will only invite trouble,if not now later.

    we,humans,sometimes are very proud with ourselves, with the so-called philosophies,ideologies,faiths,princips that we ‘hold’ on.Now,there’s nothing wrong over hiyah !! just that,whatever we conciously or subconciously believe in musn’t be too extreme until we become rigid,non-flexible, and always wanting to walk ‘that straight path’ of life.

    i believe there’s no straight path in life, at least the path of my life.and why would that be? because this beautiful life is full of wonders/surprises and the unexpected. i am not sure where/what will i be in the next 10 years ? i do not know if the relationship that im involved in will be the same way in the next 5 years..(or even next week ?!).

    basically,we can plan,strategize,prepare and work hard for what we think is best for us.And at the end of the road,after we’ve been through the long and rough patches,we know we deserve that WIN,Success,Achievement,whatever we may call it.But REMEMBER what i mentioned earlier in the paragraph above..LIFE is FULL of whom ? who ? how ? why ? by Allah of course.If we say we have Faith in Him , why then is it sometimes difficult for us to accept things that Allah Knows best . Most of the times,we get what we want,on time,after all the hard work.. but sometimes after all the struggle,we do not see any results.. we may quit trying,while others keep on trying.some may try work something else out and wait patiently for the ‘outcome’.. some may just change the destination/target,head for something else,something even better..i always believe that there is always a way out in any difficulties.It is a test when we fail to get what we want.It is a test that Allah delays what we want.. It is a test that Allah doesn’t Give at all what we wanted for so much now.This is because He wants to Give us something Better later !

    So to web,and everyone else(reading this), including myself..look on the brighter side of life.its hard ,long and testing to achieve Happiness,Success or even live life cool.Patience is part of be patient,better things will eventually come your way.but don’t just sit there of course ! smile,laugh,relax,pray..pray that Allah blesses you with the ‘strength’ to go though this life.


    June 15, 2006 at 11:33 am

  2. thank for replying this jules, yeah sometimes its like you never lnow whats next.. you’ll just keep on planning till you’re so exhausted and tired.. thats how i feel now.. trapped and tired..


    June 17, 2006 at 11:33 am

  3. this post.touched me


    July 12, 2006 at 5:04 pm

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