Khairulorama. Life and Work Notes.

Pain is the predecessor of success.

.. of my fears

with 2 comments

I was shaking, when I read some of the verses in the quran on syirik and dosa besar. Denying Allah existence is so tormented that no soul can bear its consequences. I was asking myself why was I created to become a hamba? why was not I become a not-hamba, something else, like something. In effect, behind my little mindless mind, I was asking if, asking such of these questions denies Allah existence. And of my greatest shaken fear, I would not dare to say god is inexistence. That's why human mind is so powerful and yet so weak. It is incomplete and imperfect.

It cannot answer such questions of Ghaib. It creates a tormenting doubt. It promotes the evidential maujud basis of logical thinking. And, that's why the mind is so weak.

I am seeking my redemption. my taubah. myself. I was shaken when I read that Allah does not forgive sinner such 'mempersekutukan' or 'ascribing' His Being. My subconcious and concious mind has mislead me into such delicate matters of Aqidah. It so dangerous, yet only certain people knows it.

4:116 Sesungguhnya Allah tidak mengampuni dosa mempersekutukan (sesuatu) dengan Dia, dan Dia mengampuni dosa yang selain dari syirik itu bagi siapa yang dikehendaki-Nya. Barang siapa yang mempersekutukan (sesuatu) dengan Allah, maka sesungguhnya ia telah tersesat sejauh-jauhnya.

4:48 Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan mengampuni dosa syirik, dan Dia mengampuni segala dosa yang selain dari (syirik) itu, bagi siapa yang dikehendaki-Nya. Barang siapa yang mempersekutukan Allah, maka sungguh ia telah berbuat dosa yang besar16:106 Barang siapa yang kafir kepada Allah sesudah dia beriman (dia mendapat kemurkaan Allah), kecuali orang yang dipaksa kafir padahal hatinya tetap tenang dalam beriman (dia tidak berdosa), akan tetapi orang yang melapangkan dadanya untuk kekafiran, maka kemurkaan Allah menimpanya dan baginya azab yang besar20:100 Barang siapa berpaling daripada Al Qur'an maka sesungguhnya ia akan memikul dosa yang besar di hari kiamat ,

And I indeeply in need of guidance. I was wondering did any of the Rasul or Nabi, ever wondered of Allah existence. (Again I emphasised, I do not deny Allah existence, actually you cannot even denied of His Existence.)  How did Nabi Ibrahim derived to this thought provoking question? How?  

2:260 "Dan (ingatlah) ketika Ibrahim berkata: ""Ya Tuhanku, perlihatkanlah padaku bagaimana Engkau menghidupkan orang mati"". Allah berfirman: ""Belum yakinkah kamu?"". Ibrahim  menjawab: ""Aku telah meyakininya, akan tetapi agar hatiku tetap mantap (dengan imanku)"". Allah berfirman: ""(Kalau demikian) ambillah empat ekor burung, lalu cingcanglah semuanya olehmu. (Allah berfirman): ""Lalu letakkan di atas tiap-tiap satu bukit satu bagian dari bagian-bagian itu, kemudian panggillah mereka, niscaya mereka datang kepadamu dengan segera"". Dan ketahuilah bahwa Allah Maha Perkasa lagi Maha Bijaksana

Dont you see? Nabi Ibrahim even ask Allah perlihatkanlah padaku bagaimana Engkau menghidupkan orang yang mati? and Allah answered, Belum yakinkah kamu?. Ibrahim replied, Aku telah meyakinimu, akan tetapi agar hatiku tetap mantap dengan iman ku.

Why did Allah ask this Belum yakinkah kamu? to Ibrahim. Did Ibrahim not meyakini kekuasaan Allah?. Think? 

Ibrahim said that, he believes in Allah,

2:260 Behold! Abraham said: "My Lord! Show me how Thou givest life to the dead." He said: "Dost thou not then believe?" He said: "Yea! but to satisfy My own undertaking." He said: "Take four birds; Tame them to turn to thee; put a portion of them on every hill and call to them: They will come to thee (Flying) with speed. Then know that Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise."

So, it is not wrong, to ask such delicate questions. Ibrahim did that.

I could not deny, that I am hamba, for I am so weak and insignificant that my being is in need of his Grace. In need of Him.

2:21 Hai manusia, sembahlah Tuhanmu Yang telah menciptakanmu dan orang-orang yang sebelummu, agar kamu bertakwa

2:22 "Dialah Yang menjadikan bumi sebagai hamparan bagimu dan langit sebagai atap, dan Dia menurunkan air (hujan) dari langit, lalu Dia menghasilkan dengan hujan itu segala buah-buahan sebagai rezeki untukmu; karena itu janganlah kamu mengadakan sekutu-sekutu bagi Allah, padahal kamu mengetahui."2:23 Dan jika kamu (tetap) dalam keraguan tentang Al Qur'an yang Kami wahyukan kepada hamba Kami (Muhammad), buatlah satu surat (saja) yang semisal Al Qur'an itu dan ajaklah penolong-penolongmu selain Allah, jika kamu orang-orang yang benar2:24 Maka jika kamu tidak dapat membuat (nya) dan pasti kamu tidak akan dapat membuat (nya), peliharalah dirimu dari neraka yang bahan bakarnya manusia dan batu, yang disediakan bagi orang-orang kafirI solemly believe never can one achieve the word of Allah. Never. of what science can provide and of what philosophy can denies, no one can challenge quran. no one. I am a muslim, therefore I think.  

I was shakened and still am. 

Khairul
-When confused, Quran and Hadith dekat jer! 
currently reading of einstein and newton work.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/einstein/
Check it out.
Did Einstein believe in God?
http://www.understanding-islam.com/related/text.asp?type=discussion&did=573

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day."

—From the memoirs of William Miller, an editor, quoted in Life magazine, May 2, 1955; Expanded, p. 281;Albert Einstein

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Written by M Khairul Z

June 26, 2006 at 10:19 pm

2 Responses

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  1. […] The same scenario, both of the Rasul were conforming their inquiry of Allah. Dont you see? Nabi Ibrahim even ask Allah perlihatkanlah padaku bagaimana Engkau menghidupkan orang yang mati? and Allah answered, Belum yakinkah kamu?. Ibrahim replied, Aku telah meyakinimu, akan tetapi agar hatiku tetap mantap dengan iman ku – off my Letter […]

  2. […] 5. Hopes and expectation. muse me. 6. Taking over the world 7. Tough love in OnG 25 May 2005 8. of my fears 9. Peadiatrics in 5th year 10. Matisyahu and Siti Nurhaliza 11. The missing head- or headlines! 12. […]


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